Who is the Leader? On making mini hazelnut crust pizzas and leadership.

I was at a friend’s house while she and her partner were making dinner for a group of us. They were executing a particularly complicated handmade hazelnut crust mini-pizza endeavor that had taken them all day to prep, while looking after their small child.

When it came time to put it all together and assemble the mini pizzas, they were rushing around a bit, trying to create these little masterpieces with various home-grown and creative toppings. At some point, my friend’s husband stopped and said: Wait, who is the leader here? And my friend self-assigned as the leader, issues instructions, and on they went.

I then learned that they would trade off being the leader in most of their tasks as a couple, both large and small. I loved this idea and was charmed, but it also struck me as effective, efficient and equitable.

In much of my work too, I’ve learned that someone has to be the leader. In building coalitions, in facilitating, in supporting others to shine, we trade off this role of leadership, much in the same way as the childhood game of “Follow the Leader’. It might be uncomfortable, or you may not feel ready, or really, you were hoping to to sit this one out while sipping wine and chatting with your guests. But sometimes you need to raise your hand and say: Ok, I’ll do it. I will be the leader this time, and I will support you in your leadership role the next.

And the mini hazelnut crust pizzas? A victory.